One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do is wait on God. In many ways and for various reasons, I am actually currently in a season of waiting on God, which is a lot more difficult than it may sound. I’m sure if you’ve ever been in a season of waiting, you understand.
You see, sometimes it’s easy to assume our plans are the best plans and our timing is the perfect timing. After all, who should know how to run our lives better than ourselves?
What’s easy to forget, however, is how truly perfect God and His timing is.
As I’m waiting for God to give me clear direction for my life and waiting for my knight in shining armor to finally ask me on a date, I am at a point of desperation where I have nowhere and no one else to seek but God himself. And this, my friends, is just where I need to be.
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).
In the process of waiting and finally running to God, I’m realizing that before my season of waiting is over, I must learn how to completely find my delight in Him. I can continue to put my hope in the promises He’s given me, but I must realize and accept that nothing else in this world can ever satisfy me the way God does. Until I realize that, I will continue chasing after things that are only getting farther and farther away from me. If I truly trust that God knows the desires of my heart and He’ll give them to me when the time is right, I must let go and just simply find joy in Him. Despite the pain. Despite the impatience. Despite the trials and temptations.
About six months ago, I was waiting on a word or appearance from God. I was waiting on a large booming voice to come from the sky, a glistening and glorious face to appear in my dreams. I just wanted to see Him and hear Him and feel Him like I’ve never experienced before. So I waited.
I cried. I pleaded. I begged. I yelled.
One day, as I was reading in Exodus, a passage struck me as peculiar. In fact, I remember I was quite angry.
The Lord descended to the top of Mount Sinai and called Moses to the top of the mountain. So Moses went up and the Lord said to him, ‘Go down and warn the people so they do not force their way through to see the Lord and many of them perish. Even the priests, who approach the Lord, must consecrate themselves, or the Lord will break out against them (Exodus 19:20-22).
Why would you stop them from seeing you, Lord? Why would you not let them come near you? These were the questions that rose to my mind immediately, and an anger resided in me.
After all, there didn’t seem to be any good reason for Him to withhold Himself from His people. If He loves them so much, He shouldn’t be putting up a wall. Right?
A simple reply from the Lord: They weren’t ready.
It wasn’t until months later that I fully understood what that meant. We truly have no idea the plans God has for our lives. He may reveal bits and pieces, but the whole grand picture is inconceivable, even by the wisest of all men. We cannot possibly wrap our minds around how great and awesome God is, and we also can’t grasp how perfect his timing is. We will always be one step behind Him. Usually many, many steps. And in almost all cases, we are simply just not ready for what He has planned for us.
I was not ready to hear a loud booming voice. In fact, I know I’m still not. I was not ready to see His glory in full. I’m still not ready for that either. Will I ever experience these things? I don’t know. If not in this life, certainly in the next.
But I do know this: I hear His voice and see Him more clearly than ever before, and it’s not in the ways I expect. It’s not always in the timing I prefer either. But He somehow manages to show up and present Himself perfectly. Every time.
This is the God we serve. The One who shows up at the perfect time and in the perfect way.
And if you think your plan is better than His, look at what happened to Sarah in Genesis 16. Sarah is given a promise from God himself that she will have children, but instead of waiting on this to come to pass when it is supposed to, she decides to let a little Ishmael be born through her servant, Hagar. Well, that’s an unnecessary mess. There’s a reason we’re called to wait. There’s a reason things don’t happen the way we want them to. The truth is, we don’t know what we’re doing!
Whether you have been waiting for a very long time for something to come to pass or you are just now entering a season of waiting, hold on. Delight yourself in Him, continue trusting in His promises, and most importantly, surrender. It’s weird to think that the things God himself gives us or will give us need to be surrendered, but they do. Sometimes we get so focused on His blessings, we take our eyes off of the grandest blessing of them all- the ability to be in a beautiful relationship with our Savior and True Love.